TeenageToolbox

Parents are walking role models. Like it or not our children and teens watch, analyse, critique, and evaluate EVERYTHING we do or say! Unknowingly they are absorbing our actions, our behaviour, and our responses regarding both good and bad things that happen. They're learning how we resolve conflict, they're watching the tools we use for communication, they're analysing how we conduct relationships, they're listening to the way we speak to others, and EVERYTHING we say or do

Responsibility is identified as the state or fact of having to deal with something, or of having control over someone. It relates to authority, power, control, leadership, influence, management and duty. As parents we have responsibility over our teens. I like to understand it in terms that we hold a LEADERSHIP POSITION OF INFLUENCE - where we have a DUTY to PROTECT, ENCOURAGE, EDUCATE, MOTIVATE and INSPIRE those in our care. As role models we must also use the control we hav

SHAME is described as a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour. It is a loss of respect or esteem, it is dishonour, or a person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honour. Shame is one of the biggest killers of our teenager’s self-confidence and self-esteem. It robs identity and purpose and makes an individual hide away or cover actions that need to be spoken of. Without releasing confusion, regr

As a parent I can put my hand on my heart and say I have at times said the wrong things to my teenagers; I have shouted at them, I have got angry with them when they didn’t deserve the brunt of my emotions, I have walked away when I should’t have, and I have not been there at times when they needed me most. There is nothing perfect about parenting and there has never been. No parent has ever got it right. We expect our children and teenagers to make allowances for the fact th

One of the best tools we can use ourselves is patience! Often easier to say than do when hormones are raging around the house, tempers are short and it's difficult to strike a good conversation. I always think however that if we understand where our teenagers are coming from its a little easier to 'disengage' from our own emotions and see a situation for what it is..... which is often pain manifesting in our teenager as anger or frustration or anxiety. Most adolescents have m

Today we are talking about the most powerful tool we have in our relationships with our teenagers….LOVE! What does love look like in the teen years as opposed to the early childhood years? Before we start, let's briefly outline the 5 most common means of expressing our love language: PHYSICAL TOUCH QUALITY TIME WORDS OF AFFIRMATION GIFTS ACTS OF SERVICE During the early years PHYSICAL TOUCH is the most important love language we have as we breast feed our newborns, cuddle our

To EMPOWER our teenagers is to allow them to feel in control. The opposite is to take their power away.

DAY 2 - COMMUNICATION “I don't want to talk to you. You don’t understand me. You don’t even know me”. Sometimes lines of communication between our teenager and us as parents can become fraught. Having once meant the world to our child, the teen years are a stage where we wonder sometimes where we have gone so badly wrong. The child that used to come and connect and share all their experiences and feelings, now won’t come near and if they do then conversations are short lived,

We have all seen the terrible two child throwing a tantrum and alarming their parent who is left helpless to know what to do (I have been there many a time!). They kick, they scream, they shout and to keep the peace, a piece of food is put into their mouth to keep them quiet in order to save the day. We have also witnessed the three year old who has hit another child and then told that if they do it again they will be denied another ride on the swing. The child immediately la

Helpful tools to help parents stay on track!