Stay Calm!

Engaging with your teen in the midst of crisis, upset or hurt is not the best time to try and resolve. conflict. This is the time emotions and feelings are running out of control and things may be said that are not helpful, let alone kind.

Walk away - it is hard, but as I used to do when things got heated - I put MYSELF on TIME OUT! This meant I would say "Oh sorry just got to pop to the supermarket and I will be back in 45 minutes."

Be mindful not to leave younger siblings home alone, so take them with you, and make sure you are obviously not leaving any child in danger, or illegally at home under age. Other than that, it is good to leave emotions without engaging with them at their peak.

Walk away. Take time out and then when you are calm (and they have to be too) then have the conversation that needs to be had:

"I want to hear you. What is it that was upsetting you?"

"I am sorry I needed to leave the house because I didn't want you to have to experience my anger. I am calm now and so lets chat."

"When would you like to have a chat? I think we owe each other a calm talk where we can both be honest and express our views and opinions. Most of all I want to try and understand you and so I can help and make changes where appropriate."

It may be necessary to wait a day or two for things to calm down. Remember it is best not to hurry because the solution you want is to find a way through the issues rather than escalate them all over again!

If that doesn't work then give me a call!