Welcome to Teenage Toolbox
A gentle and Healing Psychotherapeutic approach to address:
Feelings and Emotions
Anxiety and Depression
Resilience and Self-Esteem
Fear and Overwhelm
Eating Disorders and Self-Harm
Trauma is not what happens to us - but what take place inside us as a response to an external threat and not having our needs met. All behaviour and coping mechanisms, therefore, develop as an adaptation to survival.
Do you have a teenager struggling with one of the following behaviours?
An eating disorder
A behaviour diagnosis (ADHD, BPD, ODD etc)
What if I disrupted your theory that there is something wrong with your child, and instead suggest they have simply developed a coping strategy/behaviour to survive in a world that doesn’t resonate with kindness, hasn't met their needs and instills fear into their future?
Our response as parents when we see our child suffer can be desperation, hurt, guilt or fear. We immediately want to seek help, find a source of support, and even find strategies to create change.
I get you - I know!
Not only have I been there with four teenagers of my own, but I've also raised hundreds of Teenagers as a housemistress in boarding schools - I know what works! In addition, I have seen every type of behaviour, coping strategy and addiction through my work in prisons. I know, therefore, that your child's basic human need for attachment and survival is so strong that they will change who they are to fit in and belong, and even compromise their physical and mental health state to try and get their needs met. Their coping strategy isn't the problem - simply put - it is a tool for of survival. We want them to survive!
So what is the ANSWER?
The answer isn't to work with the behaviour - it is to work with the core person. It isn't to focus on the problem - but to find a solution.
Through my own personal experience of journeying through PTSD, combined with my work with individuals over the past 35 years I have developed a Trauma-informed programme that has seen numerous clients stop self-harming, 'using' or 'opting out', - not because they deny a coping strategy - but because they learn their own patterns for survival, understand their needs, and address how to get those needs met in a healthy way!
That Trauma-informed therapy is similar to providing a car manual for a car owner - It is a specific user friendly instruction platform to address:
How your child works
What has caused their shut down, overload or response adaptation
The lens through which they view the world
The nervous state in which they operate
Their personality patterns /adaptive coping strategies
How they respond to their feelings and emotions
Your child is UNIQUE! No one is programmed the way they are!
They deserve to be seen, heard, understood and validated and given the strategies to navigate their own way through life, so they feel accepted, loved and empowered.
I would so love to work with you - and also meet with them!
"No one is ever a problem. We are merely all struggling to work through our pain, insecurity, and fear.
When individuals are heard, held, and empowered with strategies that heal - then we create lasting transformational growth!" Sue O'Callaghan
Sessions are 60-minutes, held via Zoom, or in-person (Auckland, New Zealand).