Why I Understand the Young People I Work With

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I grew up as a highly sensitive child with undiagnosed ADHD - trying to navigate a world that often misunderstood overwhelm, intensity, emotion, dissociation and difference.

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Like many of the young people I work with today, what was happening beneath the surface went unrecognised. I did not need to be judged or corrected. I needed someone who could understand my world and help me make sense of it.

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Losing my mother during the most formative years of my life also profoundly shaped my understanding of grief, survival and the hidden ways trauma can live within the body and nervous system.

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Later, during one of the most traumatic periods of my adult life, I became frustrated by systems that offered diagnosis, medication or talk therapy - but little practical support for releasing trauma, restoring safety and helping a dysregulated nervous system recover.

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The Experience That Changed Everything

Discovering innovative and world-class trauma therapy in London in 2003 changed the course of my life.

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For the first time, I experienced what safety and nervous-system regulation truly felt like. It restored my sense of autonomy, connection and hope - and transformed not only my personal life, but my entire understanding of human behaviour, distress and recovery.

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That experience became the foundation of my work.

 

In 2013, I founded Teenage Toolbox after recognising that many of the teenagers and families I encountered had little access to practical, integrated and trauma-responsive support that reached beyond symptoms to address the source of their distress.

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More Than 35 Years of Experience

For over 35 years, I have worked with young people, adults and families across schools, prisons, private practice, and community settings in the UK, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand.

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My early trauma training in maximum-security prisons shaped my lifelong commitment to compassion, restorative justice, nervous-system safety and understanding the pain beneath complex behaviour.

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Today, my work brings together professional expertise and lived experience. Clients frequently tell me they feel deeply understood because my approach is not purely theoretical. It is experiential, relational, evidence-informed and grounded in what creates meaningful change in the real world.

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An Integrated Approach

My work draws upon:

• interpersonal neurobiology

• attachment science

• somatic and body-based therapies

• Polyvagal Theory

• Internal Family Systems

• Relational Life Therapy

• Compassionate Inquiry

• restorative justice

• sensory modulation

• expressive and creative therapies

I integrate these approaches to support teenagers, adults, couples, parents and professionals - recognising that no two people, nervous systems or life stories are the same.

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Author and Educator

I am also the author of:

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TAKEN
A personal memoir exploring trauma, survival and recovery.

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Hate Myself, Hate My Life
A practical guide supporting teenagers with self-worth, now held in more than two-thirds of New Zealand secondary school libraries.

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In addition to working one-on-one with clients, I deliver trauma-responsive (TR) education programmes, training in institutional TR policy and procedure, and keynote delivery to school and community organisations.

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