Outside of the usual life adversity and conflict, only TWO aspects of the Teenage years are responsible for making this season particularly challenging and tough:
The first is the change in a Teenager's hormone levels.
The second is their search for separation, identity, and independence - all required in preparation for surviving in the adult world.
The BAD NEWS is when teenagers aren't able to navigate these two areas safely they carry FEELINGS of overwhelm, helplessness, disempowerment, defeat, struggle, rejection, low self-esteem, fear, and pain.
Those FEELINGS then convert into BEHAVIOUR
(Either one of these may be the reason you have searched for this site!)
That BEHAVIOUR is often displayed through; anger, rage, addiction, relationship breakdown, poor communication, isolation, avoidance, sickness, depression and anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm or suicidal ideation.
REMEMBER: The behaviour you are displaying as a teenager or witnessing as a parent is only a manifestation of what is being felt inside. The behaviour therefore is often not what needs addressing - THE FEELINGS ARE. Resolve the feelings and the behaviour will change, but change the behaviour and the feelings will stay - AND will also have to find another way to be released.
The good news is that in the same way as a building only survives on solid foundations, parents/carers can provide a secure and safe operating platform from which a teenagers can navigate through this chapter of their lives to ensure they not only survive but also learn resilience and lead happy, fulfilled lives.
That platform requires THREE things:
1. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is about separating the behaviour from the teenager: LOVE the teenager and address the behaviour separately. NEVER STOP THE LOVE!
2. SAFETY is about about making sure a teenager is protected and secure emotionally, physically, relationally, psychologically and spiritually. It is about implementing healthy boundaries, developing self-love, understanding coping mechanisms, learning resilience, accepting responsibility, accountability and ownership, having healthy relationships and becoming an autonomous human being.
3. COMMUNICATION is about about understanding and expressing needs, discussing feelings and emotions, role modelling change, finding solutions and resolutions, and having consistent, honest and healthy conversations about the tough stuff in life.
TEENAGE TOOLBOX - Survival - Resilience - Fulfilment
Book a Session today to see Transformation and Breakthrough in your Teen's life and yours!